In Memoriam

last week such a negative tide ocean beach been bizarre don't you know like big momma way out there in the ocean she leaned over from atop her fiery volcano somewhere took a big old salacious sip sucking all the water away from the beach tides flowed way out way way out

me and cuda we walked from kelly's cove around to the archeological ruins of the grand sutro baths ah we were once a great city were we not we were once a great civilization were we not

me and cuda walking alongside some negative tides bout damn time seems like the waves been just sweeping in knocking me over one after the other fucking tide just kept sweeping in not any one big tsunami just a steady beating the kind that don't

leave no bruises

something about the moon don't you know she just swells and contracts whenever the old bastard comes floating by

i think it must be that way in iraq although i have no fucking clue i have no fucking clue and i don't want to have a fucking clue i would rather pass thank you i'm not a big fan of memorial day i'll admit that right up front here i don't want to insult anyone these are not malicious emotions i'll pull the bus over to the curb anyone who wants to get off should do so now

amen

i hate the whole concept of memorial day i hate the whole idea that we worship warriors where in the so-called jesus section of the bible the new testament does it say is it written that we worship warriors i don't know for sure i mean i didn't read the whole thing but yeah i did read the beatitudes beautiful sermon i'm pretty sure that there is no mention of worshiping warriors

i hate the whole concept of memorial day i don't want to remember the warriors i really don't when did jesus say let us remember those who would kill and maim my man mahatma he never pointed a gun at another human being and he led a revolution

the sutro baths must have been something me and cuda we walked around sign up at the top says they used to cover over three acres they whoever they were don't really know maybe mister sutro himself was one of them they had over ten thousand swimming suits available to rent to the visiting public

i mean what if we took that two hundred billion dollars and we asked for volunteers around the world for that kind of money we could have flown a couple three hundred thousand people to the iraqi border give them some cool white robes kind of jesus style don't you know maybe a pair of sandals

some cool sunglasses

hell we got three hundred billion dollars to play with here

line 'em up at the border all two three hundred thousand of them walk 'em over no guns no tanks no shock and awe

might not be quite as exciting as a little shock and awe raining down upon the helpless motherfuckers that had already been getting the shit kicked out of them by sad'em and the gang might not lift the ratings of see en en or fox news but goddamn it would be a fucking change

hey the result couldn't be any worse than we have right now

couple hundred thousand dudes in white robes sandals and cool sunglasses marching across the desert kind of a walking talking answer to the question what would jesus do i betcha the one without sin would be right there marching with them him and my man mahatma

arm in arm

if we took all that money we spend on tanks guns airplanes hand grenades flame throwers hummers the truck not the blowjob if we took all that money spent it on white robes sandals

some cool sunglasses

gotta feed them army marches on their stomachs i think i heard that one before maybe it was abbot or costello in buck privates a popular documentary back in thirties or forties and they didn't even have cool sunglasses air force pilots i think that they get cool sunglasses remember aviator glasses were all the rage in the early seventies especially the mirrored kind that state patrolmen could hide behind as they beat the shit out of niggers back in my home town

you can buy a lot of white robes sandals and cool sunglasses with three hundred billion dollars hell for just a billion you probably could have bought off sad'em sent him on his merry way hell he could have bunked in with old idi amin over there in saudi arabia lovely people the saudis beheading women in public and letting idi hang out around the pool

we invaded iraq though right

couple three hundred thousand people in white robes crosing over into iraq what's sad'em going to do shoot them down blow them up in front of the news cameras broadcasting to the world

mahatma ran the british out of india by refusing to eat i'm not advocating anything so radical just a different kind of army not the army of one shit not the be all you can be shit they could have little tag lines on their white robes pick a color for the text hell i don't care i ain't particular i mean

my favorite color is green

whenever you go into one of those poster and frame shops down by fisherman's wharf there is a famous painting of the sutro baths it's kind of green but not my favorite shade of green i'm a little partial to british racing green but maybe the text on the white robes can say something like

no enemies

i kind of like that i have to admit that i didn't make it up i wish i had but actually i'm borrowing it i have a sticker in the back window of my car it's green not racing car green though the sticker it has two fists approaching each other a dove rising between them with the line

no enemy

arching beneath them i hate memorial day i don't like the idea of worshiping warriors i don't like the idea that the president will offer prayers for our soldiers sort of like when i was in high school and the coach would pray to god asking for him to lead us in victory i never could figure out why god gave a shit who won a stupid high school basketball game guess i was wrong did not the norse pray to their gods to keep them safe in battle did not the romans do the same thing and i think that the old man himself robert ee lee did so as well

if you want to decrease violent action then do not engage in violent action i did not make that up either the no enemy organization wrote that one too they have a website just what the fuck does support the troops really mean i have to be honest with you i have to be down right honest with you i know it's popular to say that you can support the troops and not support the war i really have to call bullshit on that one

stella and i we were at dinner the other night she said what box do i check on my tax return if i don't want to support the troops

i don't want to support the troops i mean if we had no troops if they had no troops there'd be no fucking war yeah yeah you say i'm a fucking naive asshole we need the army we need to defend ourselves yeah yeah

why

who is going to take the first step it has to start somewhere if not now when if not us who

what the fuck does spreading freedom really fucking mean is it like peanut butter is it easier to spread if you add extra oil maybe homogenize it a little add some sugar spread so jiffy smooth how did peter pan get a brand of peanut butter named for him was there a licensing deal involved with peter pan incorporated war against terrorism operation freedom operation desert storm operation was a fucked up game i always got buzzed on the funny bone extraction

i really can't stand the thought of memorial day worshiping warriors goes double for veterans day maybe i could go along with some sort of memorial day if we changed the name to let's honor all the fucked up kids that we convinced to go shoot other fucked up kids same kind of kids really just wearing different uniforms let's call it national apology day

support the fucking troops i don't buy it i can't do it if each and every one of them right now just said i ain't going to do this no more i ain't going to put on this stupid uniform carry your stupid gun wear these stupid fucking dogtags name rank and serial number baby if one by one they just said fuck this shit i'm going to get me one of them no enemy white robes a pair of sandals and

some cool sunglasses

if one by one or two by two or hell all of 'em at once would just say last exit to brooklyn baby i'm outa here i'd support that holiday i'd support the fuck da military holiday i'm sure we can find some proper political doublespeak type of name for this new holiday maybe we can just call it a

national day of peace

and all three hundred million of us could take the day off from work sure hell make it a monday give everyone a day off from work put on one of them funky white robes with the no enemy logo over the heart go outside kiss their neighbor on the cheek and dance in the streets

we could make it one big potluck

i'll fry a turkey for the occasion crisp on the outside moist and juicy in the inside i'm done with memorial day i want a new holiday a national day of peace we can all place our hand over our heart like old george dubya did today over in arlington cemetery we can all place our hand over our heart like george and sing i'm going to put down my sword and shield down by the riverside down by the riverside down by the riverside

i ain't going to fight no war no more

that's a holiday i can get behind i'm done with memorial day i want to honor the peaceful i want to let all the conscientious objectors out of jail and give them medals they were the brave ones as well

three hundred million people just in the good old you ess of aa wearing white robes standing over their gas grills bought at the local sears store what the fuck ever happened to roebuck for god's sake cooking smoked turkey and apple sausages and baby back ribs chilled watermelon cut and sliced on the table

we could have a parade even might catch on just might catch on

vietnam they swooped in they being the army this time they swooped in drafted our young men forced them at gunpoint to put on the uniform sort of puts the verb to shanghai in perspective does it not but this war and the last war in iraq these guys they chose to go okay okay yeah yeah they may not have checked the box next to iraq when they filled out the application form but they knew that they were going to be trained to kill other people before these other people had the chance to kill them

who's going to take the first step sergeant benderman he took a big step not too many people behind him on this one hey sarge in my heart you are the hero of memorial day this year for me

 i refuse to worship warriors i just do

i'm sorry truly sorry if your son daughter mother father aunt uncle got killed in this war or any other war one thousand six hundred and fifty americans got killed in this war so far many many more wounded maybe a hundred thousand iraqi people were also killed fuck i am truly sorry

but i just can't behind this memorial day thing your son dies it's a private thing there can be nothing more horrible than outliving your son i don't know what i would do if my son died if i picked up the phone at two o'clock in the morning awakened from a sound sleep if i picked up the phone at two o'clock in the morning and a voice i had never heard before said mister phatman i got some bad news to tell you

it's about your boy

if your son died in uniform it must be a horrible thing a horrible horrible thing i cannot imagine i won't pretend to imagine that is insulting to you that is downright insulting to you this is a private thing between you and yourself and the dead you don't need me throwing you a parade when your boy dies

the tides these negative tides the moon moved on the tides came back funny how it works that way never ends just never fucking ends me and cuda though we took advantage of the situation we explored the ruins of the past

no enemy they say no enemy is true peace no enemy is true justice no enemy is simple logic i'm sorry but i just can't

i just can't get behind this memorial day thing and all that

 

Anniversary Song

i wish i were barry white i wish i could sit at the piano have stella sit right next to me i wish i could just be barry white for a night i wish i could sing her a song sing her a song whisper to her a song in that deep deep bass can't get enough of your love baby i wish i could simply make her swoon with a lean and a grin and a line we've shared love and made love just lean in and wink my fingers tickling the ivories my voice tickling her fancy

it doesn't seem to me like it's enough

hold my hand let's take a walk down the street come on with me with me let's take an evening stroll through the rose garden let's throw on a sweater maybe give the dog a break take her out on a little starry adventure i'll even let you think cuda likes you better

i tell the kids your momma she treats me like a dog they know that's a good thing just doesn't seem to me like it's enough there's just not enough of it i wish i could hold that microphone close i wish i could lay down a line that would make you shiver and shake tremble and quake i want to whisper and have you melt

yeah yeah we've been down the climb the highest mountain swim the deepest sea baby you know that i'll take a bullet for you fall on the sword hari kari baby hari kari girl we've been down that road still i don't know i don't know why just can't get enough of your love babe

i remember when i remember when we were just babies we woke up early one morning we crawled out of the bed with the rainbow sheets in the room with the makeshift rainbow curtains you crawled into the passenger seat of the blue toyota celica gee tee the one that i lost and then wrecked destiny girl can't believe you let me drive it again this time we drove up up up into the north georgia mountains tallulah gorge waiting for us windy roads curvy roads early morning you tried to sleep seat all the way down pillow with the rainbow pillow case we reached the gorge you got out of the car tossed your cookies

most likely it wasn't cookies it was the previous night's vodka and grapefruit juice

i held a cool wet cloth to your head and made sure your wild jewrasta locks didn't get soiled remember remember we hiked down into the gorge i wish i had been barry white then i wish i could have just got down on one knee sung my love to you we hopped the rocks up through the gorge following the river upstream sat on a rock next to a little eddy a little shallow eddy filled with swimming swirling swarming tadpoles of all sizes

we sat and stared

at tadpoles for hours or maybe twenty minutes i held your hand i didn't sing to you but i whispered i said stella baby i want to sit here with you forever hold my hand forever

remember remember when that first night april twenty five nineteen hundred and eighty-one i said i'll be pete you be zelda we'll have a date we'll paint the town red first we'll go walk through inman park our first date the inman park arts festival we looked at all the old houses we snacked on art festival food circa nineteen eighty we did that first date thing and let them paint our faces you had a purple dragon with wings i had a rose on my cheek with thorns we held hands we laughed we giggled even we floated down the street remember

remember

we went on over to henny's house the ultimate team was having a party you didn't know my buds didn't know my life outside of college we went over to henny's house i forgot to tell you that they might be imbibing in certain hallucinogenics

they sat and stared

at our faces for hours or maybe twenty minutes i held your hand i didn't sing to you but i said to myself i said stella baby i want to sit here with you forever hold my hand forever i wonder if you heard me i said it very softly to myself the music was quite loud you could get lost in jerry and the gang singing stella blue i wonder if you heard me we left that party it got kind of weird and quiet after a while

we needed to dance

we went down to see tinsley ellis and his band play can't remember the name of the place now i know where it is on north avenue in between north highland and ponce somewhere something mill hell in atlanta everything is something or other mill we danced we drank heineken in a bottle it was hot and sweaty and we wiggled and jiggled and kissed

yes we kissed

right there on the dance floor one of those sloppy wet kisses that just happen been knowing it was going to happen all day just built up all day all through the arts festival all through the strange tripping party through the dancing dancing we just kissed and surprised the hell out of each other wild wet tongue flowing

we jumped back

laughed and kept on dancing i drove you back to your place drove back in my nineteen sixty eight vee dubya pop top camper puttered is more like it there were a couple of good hills don't you know that's okay you leaned over and kissed me anyway

all sloppy like

the next morning the sun peeked in through the rainbows you woke up and said

you have to leave i bet if i had been barry white right then i would have laid down a line girl if i could only make you see and make you understand girl your love for me is all i need and more than i can stand i just know if i had been barry white i would have never left i tucked my tail between my legs i crawled into my van i drove off to get coffee and breakfast

 i sat in a booth at the majestic diner i wrote you a poem i wrote you a love story i called it the great and tragic love of pete and zelda i wrote it by hand i didn't have a computer i didn't have a word processor i didn't have a eee-lectric typewriter i had a pen and couple sheets of paper i folded it up i drove over to campus emory campus you were in the library i walked up behind you i slid my love story into your notebook i walked out to the quad

me and johnny pee we smoked a bowl we jammed on the disc

freestyle

soft sizzling zee's floating down on my finger spin baby spin float up over around yeah feel it twirl it whirling fucking dervish with a disc dismount flying guidis yeah

you came out sat on the steps you watched us for a while you read the story johnny pee he's an asshole he grabbed the paper out of your hand in a schoolboy prankish manner whatcha got before i could do anything you grabbed it back from him screamed some obscenity

god if i didn't know before i knew then you can cuss with the best of them melts my butter whips my cream

grabbed it back and ran off i chased you around the library you cried you said we weren't supposed to happen we were just friends i said yeah i said yeah but i'm thinking that i've loved you my whole life and didn't even know it you cried and i held you

man oh man if i had been barry white right then i don't think you would have cried i wish i could have sung you a love song i wish i could have done that deep deep bass thing made you swoon never have to cry again can't get enough of your love babe can't get enough of your love

remember remember when we moved to san francisco we were just babies we moved to california dumb cracker and his wild jewish hippie princess we didn't know shit we didn't know fuck all we didn't know we didn't know how lucky we were i wish i could be barry white for just a few minutes just so i could really get it right just so i could really get it the way it's supposed to be i just want to serenade you with a song i want to make you swoon

i just love that word i'll never use any other

i want to make you swoon baby let me take all my life to find you but you can believe it's going to take the rest of my life to keep you i wish i could be barry white

remember remember twenty years from now i want to say remember remember when we lived on fulton street and we shared an office together and you would say play us some music play us something and twenty years from now i'll say remember when i played some music in our office i played a little harry nilsson schmilsson for you a little lime in the coconut we'll smile then i will say you know i just wish i could have been barry white just one time there for you i wish i could just hum a song for you

make you swoon

we got married twenty one years ago today you know

pete and zelda happy anniversary and all that

Martha

spring summer sun burst into the weekend like a fucking peacock fucker just strutted out from the dawn and spread his feathers like the motherfucking stud he is

he is

dude comes out of the shop if i had to guess i'd say he's a fireman looks like a fireman white guy got that close cut up the side fireman's haircut big shoulders kind of stocky yeah of course i stereotype it makes things easier i need easier dude comes out of the shop he says pointing back over his shoulder with his thumb he says martha i shit you not he did indeed call her

martha

he says martha too bad it's not tuesday on tuesday's you can get your nipples pierced for twenty-five dollars

martha

laughs he laughs they laugh together they smile he puts his arm around her shoulders pulls her in possessively they walk down the sidewalk we're in the haight we that is me

martha

the firedude and fifty thousand clowns from the four corners of this fucking circus the earth yeah there's a lot of people out today it's saturday not tuesday i'm walking down haight street youngest son he plays basketball his team plays down around here big tournament today i'm working the snackbar

snackin' baby

i got your hotdog right here been soaking in this here hotpot for i don't know how long got the ptomaine boiled right in we got your nachos with the melted kraft cheesefood and canned jalapenos if you want them we got your safeway select sodas we got more trash to put in your stomach more trash than you can shake a stick at i'm on haight street now taking a break breaktime walking on haight street i don't think firedude and martha are from around here shaved head brother in a convertible three twenty five slow slow moving down the road with me lot of traffic to play with the walkers today slow moving traffic moving through the haight yeah of course got to be cliché moving down haight street near ashbury where they have a fucking ben and jerry's ice cream shoppe can't help from being cliché

i mean give me a fucking break ben and jerry's at the corner of haight and ashbury new age punk hippie land just what

martha

and the firedude came to see they probably bought themselves a jimi hendrix tee shirt i bought a jimi hendrix sticker cover of axis bold as love stuck it on my laptop makes it easily identifiable when i slide it through the eyes of god ex ray machine at the end of the rainbow known as the security cue at the airport yes i did afix jimi onto my vaio firedude though he looks more metallica not that i haven't listened to my fair share of metallica did you ever hear those guys on cellos apocalyptica they do metallica fade to black on cello baby but yeah firedude seems more metallica less jimi but who knows what beast lurks in the heart of any man brother in a three twenty five head nodding to lionel ritchie swooning us in extra high fidelity and bigass bass blasters for three and a half minutes we are blessed with lionel fucking ritchie before traffic surges ahead in one of those hurry up to stop kind of flurries

people people everywhere not a one to fuck stella she'd get a little upset anyway but my oh my all these young hippie punk wannabe chickadees with belly buttons and belly button rings and tattoos creeping up out from the crack of their ass and tender lovely flesh of the inside of so many thighs strutting down strutting up the sidewalk they're laughing they're smiling they're flicking their middle finger at whomever they please it shimmies it shakes butts of all glorious sizes and shapes i feel like a kid in a baskins robbins thirty seven flavors and i just want to dip my finger in each and every one of them take a taste i want her to place that big old pointy boot on my chest and hiss at me

i like my ice cream to hiss at me

martha

wasn't showing belly button she wore an iowa state sweatshirt and loose jeans i wonder which is whiter iowa itself or its corn sunday next day drove up to marin out to fairfax marin is a little fucking white too yeah maybe a lot fucking white though not white like walnut creek over in the east bay kansas city inherit the wind burn darwin in effigy bill clinton was and still is the antichrist burbs moved west no it's a special marin kind of white i know i know it's okay because they are all very fucking liberal and correct and peter pannish they can't help it they got stuck in that crystal hippie new age with a twist of huey lewis arena of love and didn't know what to do with it drove out to fairfax friends with a house up up up in the hills everything is white the carpet is plush white the walls are white the art on the wall exudes white and pale the furniture is white leather very falcon crest circa nineteen eighty three

we sit me and stella we sit with three other couples we are four couples all together we are brunching i guess that's a verb to brunch i mean to lunch is a verb waiting to be conjugated why should it not be to brunch as well we are brunching sitting in the dining room big circle glass table place mats yeah can you fucking believe it

brunch with placemats i mean i think martha and the firedude would fit right at home here it's a fucking holiday inn no maybe a crown plaza kind of day i want to go back a day and follow the brother in the convertible give me lionel ritchie to this please god

at least in the haight i'm not invading their territory they are invading mine three types of street people in the haight on sunny saturday afternoons there's those that are truly in need they are fucked up a little insane a little too much white powder of some sort or another gone up their nose in their arms through their lungs they're fucked up they need help second there's those that are just camping it's what they do they been living in the park camping in the park little enclaves some down near the beach some up in the rhododendron dell some in the redwoods across the street from my house i mean no value judgment here or anything i just wish they'd shit somewhere else but they're hanging they're camping they're what you might call underemployed then there's those that come in from the suburbs weekenders white kids dressing like punks hippies whatever hanging in the street panhandling selling a little dope buying a little dope those guys i wish they'd just go home to momma

we sat around on the white leather furniture we gazed out the ceiling to floor windows overlooking mount tam we talked about the same fucking thing we've been talking about for the past fifteen years the kids this the kids that the kids have known each other forever they barely see each other now each went their separate ways i hate these conversations how are they doing in school what are they doing this summer what sport team did what went where isn't this cutlery lovely she's looking for the next best running shoe he's looking for a good yoga class i'm looking for some weapon that i can use to kill myself maybe if i drink way too much coffee and run screaming off the deck the deck is about forty feet off the ground marin mountainside living don't you know maybe if i

run screaming off

do the royal swan dive into the manzanita below run screaming off the deck i will feel better

couldn't feel any worse jesus fucking christ break the fucking coffee pot over my head see if i'm still alive i mean i like these people whenver i'm hanging with any one of them individually i'm happy i'm engaged we talk we talk about real shit bring us all together it's just fucking blather it's roux thick white milky roux saw mill gravy the old man used to call it the point is it's fucking bland unless you put a lot of pepper on it

we need some pepper yo garcon yo waiter bring out the fucking grinder let's get it going

i know that i should lean over and insult someone ask her how her sex life is since limpdick over here can't get it up i mean so rumor has it i know i should i should i should

i don't but i hope that deep down they all wish that i did

i just lay back into the very white leather couch sofa divan whatever my head toward the ceiling very dustin hoffman the graduate i wish i was floating on my back in a pool in the sunshine right now i'll meditate on it stella will get severely pissed off at me if don't engage don't need stella pissed off at me although the pleasures of

angry sex

are not to be ignored are not to be forgotten sometimes the pleasure is worth the pain it's dangerous though sometimes i just take it beyond the realm of angry sex and i don't get no stella that night this might be one of those times one of those pushing it too far times i mean stella herself ain't having such a great time if i check out leave her all alone to fend for herself be like dropping her in the jungle without a drop of deet goddamn mosquitoes just bite her all over leave all sorts of itchy red bumps she'll be

scratching 'em til they scab over

i sit up stand up go pour myself a cup of coffee i talk i chat i forget what i said i don't think i insulted anyone at least not too much i gave the guy on the corner the one in torn leathers holding a sign a piece of cardboard so old and dirty i can't read what is says i pretend it says hey phatmike if you don't drop a dollar into this fucking cup i'll make sure a goddamn lightning bolt cracks down on your sorry ass from a above hope the family's doing well yours truly god i gave the guy on the corner a dollar hey why take a chance i saw a show on discovery channel the other night maybe it was discovery health maybe it was the learning channel it was about people who had been struck by lightning showed some godawful gory pictures of people mostly white people from kansas showing their scars to the camera saying yep this here is where it went in and this here spot on my ankle is where it went out

i didn't insult him didn't want to take a chance don't you know i bought myself a little water pipe six dollars and ninety-nine cents another quarter for three screens bought it there on haight street in the same shop where i bought the jimi axis bold as love sticker instead of insulting someone i pulled out my new portable water pipe put it on the glass coffee table in the very white living room we get stoned we being the guys the wives they don't get stoned don't know why just the way it is stella she only got stoned with me a couple of times we did mushrooms together a few times but that's when we were young reckless and in love now we're just old and reckless and in love

even though we get stoned we still talk about the same old sht i guess there's a moral there somewhere

we do manage to segue into the evening's final exciting episode of deadwood cocksuckers can't get enough momentum in the conversation to take it elsewhere it falls back to the ess oh ess

same old shit i need a change i need a change i look at my watch stella's eyes go toward the front door i have to be the bad guy i have to be so it's hey stella don't we have to be so and so in such and such a time she does the surprised and annoyed look exasperated at me of course i don't mind being the fall guy

stella knows i'd fall on a sword for her

we get in the car navigate the skinny little roads going down the hillside we don't take a good breath until we cross over the golden gate and pay our toll fog rolling in right with us the peacock tucking in it's tail time to take a nap

morals marthas peacocks i scream you scream we all scream for ice cream vanilla ice cream that is yeah haight street and all that

 

 

Afternoon Run

i know you rider going to miss me when i'm gone jorma kicks it off jorma and jack they do a mean version the sun going to shine in my back door some day march wind going to blow all my blues away ear buds in handy dandy little em pee three player mine's a san disk stella she has an eye pod oldest son he has the mother of all eye pods holds about twenty million songs one and only daughter she has a mini eye pod youngest son he has a mini eye pod we are a veritable bounty of ill eagle music

me and stella between us we must have bought over a thousand vinyls over the years don't have a single one now gave them to goodwill along with the turntable yeah yeah wish i hadn't now kind of a your mom threw out your baseball cards kind of thing what the fuck it was a question of space remember how much dust a thousand albums made took up the side of the room

sun going to shine in my back door some day pick it jorma i stretch on the back deck neighbor in the house behind walks down her back steps laundry in hand going to miss your daddy from rolling in your arms slow stretch long slow stretch hold it feel it

breathe

a little more

a little further

cross the street along the redwoods cross park presidio the sign says do not cross use other side fuck that my trail starts just across over there light turns green i kick it off my run didn't swim this morning better get in a run yesterday ran on the beach started with a good tailwind heading south started at kelly's cove followed the water line down to the zoo hit a headwind coming back i'd rather run up hill than run into a headwind been a couple of weeks since my last run sprained my ankle running down some trail in the presidio steep path going down my em pee three player started fucking up on me i started fiddling with it not looking where i was going bada bing fucking root reaches right out trips my stumbling size twelves head over heels a couple maybe three times because once is certainly not enough end up on my back

i just lay there

cursing

still no music only some can i help you sir dripping on me from above i look up some angelic young thing is leaning over can i help you sir

what the fuck with this sir shit

i wave her off i say no just taking a breath i get up she heads down the trail i can't let an opportunity like this go unheeded i start back on my run trying to keep up with that sweet tight ass flexing with every step oh my oh my you would whip my ass and i would come begging back for more my fucking ankle my fucking foot throbbing the first few steps it loosens up after a while or i stop thinking about it follow the young lass through the woods down to crissy field along around the lagoon and back up the hill through the arguello gate down through the playground and up the hill to the presidio gate down to the jay cee cee to get my bike and go home

fuck that hurt

by the time i get home it's swollen like one of them big old oranges from effe elle aa ice pack and an episode of deadwood oughta keep me quiet so yeah been a couple of weeks since my last run did the beach yesterday the sand was good to my ankle did the trails in golden gate park today started on the trail at fulton and park presidio said hello to the woman who stares hadn't seen her in a while a couple four years ago she used to stand right there on fulton a little up from the bus stop just stands there and stares at the world she'd stand there for hours rain shine didn't matter wore the same coat wouldn't take anything from anybody she'd come in the morning she'd leave sometime later in the day

she'd just stare

we wondered about her wondered what her story was wondered if maybe her husband had left her maybe her child had died who knows she didn't say she's been back lately seen her a couple of times nothing steady like it used to be i said hi she didn't say anything jorma he says hey sister sister dirty little sigh she wants to be a bad girl but she don't know how followed the path

around through the trees w'inin' boy don't deny my name

the ground still green been a strange spring still raining every now and then ain't supposed to be so green and overgrown this time of year through the trees across twenty-fifth avenue down the horse trail toward the beach pass by the disc golf course set up in the woods some dude putting over by the fifth hole basket really he's got a red putter disc i'm past him by the time he throws but i hear the jingle-jingle of the chains

sounds like he made it

across thirtieth avenue sun came out this morning highway showed my way cracks in the sand pulled me into the sea washed my cares away sing it jorma down around the multicultural pond the russians sit out there play chess play cards always some asian group out there on the south side of the pond they practice tai chi yeah yeah every once and while there's a round eye joining but this is an asian thing this pond they have to be careful not to slip on the duck shit

it's a warm afternoon someone has hung three four bird cages in one of the trees next to the pond parrots cockatoos cockatiels parakeets whatever i don't know they're tweets

they race model boats here on the weekends one day it's sail boats another day it's power boats the two don't mix apparently seems like they've worked it out though a model for us all i suppose mother don't you stop prayin' well father keep right on prayin'

across thirty-sixth avenue down the hill path behind the senior center couple of guys sword fighting wearing white robes don't you stop prayin' for this world is almost done sword fighting i don't think they're seniors keep your lamps trimmed and burning for this world is almost done wooden swords though i bet it would hurt if that motherfucker slapped you on your buttocks your callipygian clefts baby

bet it would hurt

follow the path me and jorma follow the path between the dog run and the buffalo paddock fucking dog run i never take cuda there she finds it demeaning mostly used by professional dog walkers never understood that shit kind of akin to having kids and sending them off to boarding school hey honey i have a great idea let's get a dog no it'll be no problem at all we can hire a professional dog walker there are three four people in the run about twenty dogs three four vans parked outside the run

fuck

the buffalo are cool they got a big old paddock lots of space grass and trees and mud across several acres three square meals a day well candy man done been and gone done been and gone kind of strange though they them fine looking buffalo them fine looking bison they just stand there

they just stare

candy man done been and gone wish i was down in new orleans sittin' on a candy stand on down around the south side of the paddock by the barn follow forty-third on around across jay effe kay around another pond the one with the fountain in the middle don't know the name of that one when cuda's with me she swims scares the ducks yeah i know it's not very pee cee what the fuck cuda she seems to have fun hasn't caught one of them ducks yet doubt she will wily fucking ducks hell they probably enjoy the game themselves

across em elle kay left on the path up through the trees some guy comes running down toward me the first runner i've seen this afternoon they usually stick to the road don't know why anybody would want to run next to the road when they could run the trails i mean yeah the road ain't that busy it is in the park but still it's a sidewalk

sidewalks hurt my feet

up the path then dig across sunset going up hill now back side of the park the return trip climbs a little ridge up to the cross road follow the path on across some bald headed dude not necessarily naturally bald i mean maybe he was going that way but he had definitely given it help mustache two kids in the car i stop pull out the ear buds jorma picking true religion mamma take the pillow from under my head hallelu jesus going to wake up die in bed then you'll need that true religion hallelu hey buddy where is the playground you know the one with the carousel i stop

hallelu

back up em elle kay across the busy street through the light up up up around the bocce ball courts can't miss it can't mississippi it thanks buddy yeah no problem back on the path swing around onto jay effe kay through the underpass up the stairs fuck these stairs up the stairs to stowe lake steep fucking stairs not spaced right gotta stutter step up them up them swing around back onto the path around behind the ranger lodge

come back baby baby please don't go well i love you i want the world to know

swing down the path through the clearing big old boulder there boulder wearing a plaque bronze plaque says trees in this grove from each of the original thirteen colonies planted here in eighteen and ninety six this here plaque placed here on this boulder by the daughters of the american revolution in nineteen and twenty

what took them so long

damn daughters damn revolution i mean old george yeah george dubya he don't much care for revolution can't pump much oil if there is a revolution going on never been able to figure out which tree came from which state no markings on the tree just the plaque on the boulder

final sprint through the rose garden nanny and stroller on one bench large young chick taking pictures of blooming rose with cheap digital camera

tourists

come back baby baby please don't go

afternoon run me and jorma and all that

Stubborn Fuck

i opened the front gate walked outside to hear a cute italian couple walking by the woman telling the man he was a worthless piece of shit i don't speak italian that shit is understood by all baby by you and me across the street sitting in the bus stop is this old guy for a second there i thought it was the old man

i don't know why

but it did just seem so fucking normal him sitting over there waiting for the bus he didn't bring his car to san francisco he didn't bring his car out here he didn't need one you don't need a car here i mean it ain't manhattan but you don't really need a car here he left his car with my brother in baton rouge he flew out here from new orleans landed a free man here in the free state of san francisco the promised land anyway this promised land was too fucking cold for the old man him being from eff elle aa down around tampa town down around ybor city where the young cuban girls those catholic innocents still roll cigars between their virgin thighs that final sticking lick that seal-a-meal piece-de-resistance lol-lee pop baby i don't think the old man liked it too much out here

i mean maybe he knew

this old guy was not my old man no shit sure did look like him sure did indeed silver fox hair elle elle bean windbreaker snappy walking shoes and khakis he was a fucking cover boy for republican prep when he moved in i told him that in our house our domicile really only had four rules the kids really only had four rules to follow in our house one the basic golden rule two can't join the military no not even the fucking coast guard three can't vote republican and most importantly four can't wear a goddam sweater tied around your shoulders

i mean for christfuckingsake

i said you're pretty good on the golden rule thing you're a good guy too late on the military thing for you already been down that road long before i came around can't do much about your fucking republican attitude you're too fucking stubborn to change but you for christsake ain't going to be talking that republican bullshit in my house that's for the kids don't you know i know that this might be the hardest one for you hell i don't care if you walk naked around the house i don't care if you never put the lid down i don't care if your toenail clippings end up on the kitchen table yeah yeah stella may give a shit she might have a lot to say about that but i'm talking about this shit not that shit this might the hardest thing for you but

you just can't wear some damn sweater tied around your shoulders

i mean for christfuckingsake

i mean maybe he knew

this old guy was not my old man he had that same stern yet friendly set of the chin that ready to engage probably the most enjoyable thing i might do today this act of talking to you who knows we may become best friends our grandkids might meet and marry who knows and it's all because we engaged today we were both open to just talk who knows what may happen we'll never know unless we just and talk

he and i never had much to say to each other

i only have inklings i only have inklings

one time many years ago i think after i had broken up with a girlfriend i was really bumming out college girlfriend i came home to valdosta town i was in my room depressed listening to some godawful depressing music probably some jackson brown shit maybe some dan foglefuckingberg god were there two more depressing fucking servants of the musical arts than these pathetic saps driving on fucking empty geezus fucking christ one time he came into my room he my dad not he dan foglefuckingberg my dad he came into my room me all fucking pathetic you know girlfriend shit he sat in a chair in the corner he said yeah back when i got out of the army i had this woman break my heart i remember sleeping on a park bench in indianapolis i said what the fuck were you doing in indianapolis he said that's a good question still don't know the answer still don't know

never heard any more about it just a fucking inkling

maybe he got himself hooked on some of this fine hebrew princess pussy like i did just except maybe i got lucky he didn't don't you know it's a lot about luck what if what if what if there was really a righteous man among us

a righteous man

rastafari is lords of lords and savior

rastafari is inklings

i remember i was ten years old i was ten years old living in halifax virginia me and my dad we sat on the couch it must have been late spring early summer he was home from work we were waiting for my mom to get dinner ready that's what we did we sat on the couch his arm around my shoulders we watched tee vee we watched the evening news you did that back then you watched the fucking news at night

i used to watch the evening news with my dad

he didn't like walter cronkite he watched harry reasoner on aa bee cee they did a news report about some anti-war demonstration somewhere they showed the police in riot gear arresting someone the voice over the reporter he says the dude was arrested for defacing the flag because he had sewn it on the ass of his pants

i looked up at my dad i said

i hope they put him jail he looked at me laughed and rubbed my head in that ward cleaver sort of way he said i do too son i was ten in nineteen sixty nine he was forty in nineteen sixty nine i was born in nineteen fifty nine he was born in nineteen twenty nine my son my oldest son he was born in nineteen eighty six my one and only daughter she was born in nineteen and eighty nine

youngest son he's the baby born in nineteen ninety-one

when he got mad at me when my dad used to get mad at me yeah sometime even with reason he would preface most every declaration he made and he made a lot of fucking declarations he'd preface it with a good solid authoritative phrase he'd say

i'm going to tell you like a man

sometimes he pointed his finger when he said it he bought me a motorcycle once i was fifteen got it for my birthday he used to let me take the mustang out when i was fourteen fifteen at first just around the neighborhood then he'd let me go over to bobby kay's hell the local police they didn't much care unless maybe they were having a bad day

fucking serendipity

once he and my mom went out of town he left me the keys to the mustang wasn't really supposed to be driving it especially with people in it but what the fuck we were going down one of the neighborhood roads me and bobby kay and a couple others one of the fucking couple of others said hey look at that i was fifteen what the fuck did i know i turned and looked backwards as we were driving around a curve we went into a ditch turns out the particular ditch we ran into happened to be the front yard of his business partner lights came on oh yeah of course this was at one in the morning the lights came on my buddies scrambled out they pushed while i gunned it we left in a hurry he of course saw us told my dad over coffee one morning couple of weeks later one of those laughing yeah did i remember to tell you about

the old man never said anything

the old guy he wasn't my old man i didn't stand and stare no i didn't want to look more than that glance he didn't really like it here i think it was too cold for him maybe he knew the way the doctor talked he must have known he didn't take any of the medicine that she had prescribed she told him that he had to take the medicine said my old man was a stubborn man i didn't talk to the doctor i didn't want to talk to the doctor he died leave it at that stella she talked to the doctor stella she took care of me stella told me what the doctor said

maybe he knew maybe he just came out here so he could be with the kids before he died i guess that's an angelic fucking color that i'm painting the old man he wanted to live he wanted to live hell i found a script of twelve of those little purple pills don't need a hardon in the crematorium he liked a hot time but he wasn't into the pain

last august he came upstairs holding his chest he said hey i think i need to go to the hospital i drove him he said that he had to go to saint lukes i said saint fucking lukes that's all the way across town shit i better call an ambulance he said no it wasn't that bad i'm saying you say your fucking chest hurts you need to go to the hospital and it ain't that bad i ended up driving him tearing across town to the fucking mission in morning traffic spent the day at the hospital reading my newspaper they did tests they didn't find anything wrong with him

he taught me to drive in the mustang we got out on the highway saturday afternoon sunny afternoon long lonely road two-lane highway he said kick it up a little let's go faster i pushed the pedal down hit sixty he said come on give it some more we hit seventy seventy-five he said put the pedal all the way down eight-five ninety he said faster one oh five i was fifteen just turned fifteen i was pretty damned scared one ten fucking mustang could fly one fifteen i stepped off he said don't step off one twenty i let off completely i pulled over i was white scared the hell out of me he kept a stern face he looked at me he said see ain't so much fun to drive like a fool i said no guess not he said okay let's turn around go home let's go home i said okay hell maybe he knew anyway the old man he never said anything stubborn fuck stupid stubborn fuck

that old guy at the bus stop he wasn't my old man he just looked like my old man the italians turned the corner walked up eleventh avenue i don't think he was getting any tonight i didn't detect even a sliver of a chance of angry sex the italian couple they turned the corner walked up eleventh the old guy at the bus stop he looked at the muni map on the glass wall

squinting in the midday sun

stubborn fuck and all that

 

 

Oh Shit Moment

space dub reggaea sun-ya it arise mandela will be here a hero this year sitting in the car sitting in the parking lot could never be a noble thing to do a sun-ya arise no more black blood to spill love jah sitting here in the car black moleskine in my lap eighty-nine point five kay pee oh oh kay pooh peace baby late saturday afternoon space dub beach out the front window people dogs running on the beach maybe the word is not running although some are maybe the word is frolicking it happens most every day around this time although this time she moves around a bit since she chases the sun going down now the time is getting later and later but people are indeed frolicking maybe it's the springtime thing maybe it's the pagan sun worship thing sun-ra maybe it's the really cool minus tides we've been having beach gets pretty big you can almost walk to seal rock out the front window the windshield people go about on the beach like some dubbed french flick flashing across my screen

cuda scratching at the door she wants to be in the movie

casting call kicks door opens there ain't nothing like it the taste of the air that quick cool burst from inside to outside the skin tingles like an alcohol bath fresh quick breathe deep baby cuda bounces she wants the ball the beach is big the walk down to the water kelly's cove takes a while takes a few long tosses of the ball shitty soggy tennis ball soaked in disgusting dog slobber swirled dying beach death

the producers cast cuda she stars swims attacks the waves straight on dives through a crashing wave goes under and pops back up catching the next one back in

crazy fucking dog

ball in her mouth

funky fog wraps her arms around me she ain't the usual lady of the beach she's a new girl a bit warmer moister almost east coast been strange this fog she presses her lips on my forehead kisses my kepele warm moist lips walks me through the mist mysterious so east coast

used to hang out by the withlacootchie take the old quitman highway to ousley road follow it on to knights ferry road turn off on one of those bleached sand dirt roads made our way through the woods for a while maybe i turn here turn there i forget follow it around to this slow shallow bend in the river sandy wash sand bar a few ferns a few scraggly oaks a couple of cypress trees da spanish moss floating about

some sticky summer mornings mists make their way down river creeping up the river sticky sticky can't hear a thing an owl off in the distance off in the dawn me and yvonne used to drive back there early in the morning smoke a joint before work hang out sit on the warm hood of my car my seventy-one barracuda white with the tan naugahyde interior bucket seats three-eighteen two-barrel i once had it going one thirty down the old jennings highway probably should have died that day we were drinking

fucking serendipity

saved my life more than once don't you know me and yvonne she would lean over send me a shotgun the very image of a woman giving me a shotgun still straightens out john henry i close my eyes sitting on the cuda yvonne leaning over big old joint clutched backward between teeth lips closing as she gets close a small stream of smoke slides forward she tilts her head slightly eyes closed slightly a kiss is just a kiss our lips barely touch i inhale slowly oh baby

fill me with spirit

fill me with life

fill me with damning thoughts

i never fucked yvonne

but i should have she wanted to yvonne was the kid sister i never had she was small maybe four ten four eleven barely a hundred pounds hell maybe ninety pounds wildest crazy long crazy black hair she was country oh baby she was so country she loved me and i loved her but not in the way she loved me

i should have loved her that way

we were seventeen eighteen nineteen we didn't talk about other guys and girls we didn't talk too much about affairs of the heart we didn't talk of the heart much at all we just talked shit i should have loved her that way i would have loved her so good held her close we didn't talk much of the heart until one night she got drunk i mean yvonne she could drink don't know where that little girl put it but she could drink she drank a little too much one night i was driving her home

she yelled at me

said she had wanted to get fucked that night by so and so said it was my fault she didn't fuck so an so she yelled at me drunk i tried to be the southern gentleman i said that was the vodka talking we'd be back to normal soon she yelled at me called me an asshole really caught my dumb motherfucking cracker ass by surprise hit me with a two by four upside the head she did she yelled at me she cried and yelled at me

i thought she hurt my feelings i thought that then i was wrong i'm sorry yvonne i hurt your feelings

i took her home and walked her into her house her mom asleep i tucked her in i should have crawled in the bed and held her i didn't i put her under the covers i lay on the outside held her she called me an asshole in a hoarse whisper not wanting to wake her mother she called me an asshole over and over again until she went to sleep

i drove home

i should have loved her that way that way she wanted i didn't

sitting on the warm hood of the barracuda cuda walking on the beach attacking the waves rolled through the night holding stella woke up to helicopters this morning helicopters floating over our house cameras on the kenyans as they gazelled down jay eff kay boulevard through the park to the beach bay to breakers nibbled on stella whispered that i loved her the way i should love her the way she wanted me to love her

she kicks me out showing me her love she didn't slit my throat she must still love me although she's told me before she's already given notice that should she really ever slit my throat this act will be done with love with lust even she kicks me out showing me her love

swim sauna shave smoke

caffiene cafe los cubanos cafecito

meet my man vee he ran the bay to breakers while i swam we walk with cuda through the woods long strange trip through the redwoods across the street cuda's woods she owns these woods need her permission to pass through these woods down the path that dives down from park presidio and fulton veer right into the clearing but redirect to path squeezing through the blackberry bushes apparently we interrupted a copper headed lass skirt up doing the shimmy shake with pal wearing baseball cap

backwards

the cap that is they the copper headed lass and pal faced each other i only glanced their way for a second it's amazing how much detail the human eye can take in with only a glance sun dripping down through the sky boughs redwoods tall dried needles covering the dirt floor they stood where the sun's spotlight embraced them on stage her back to me he catches my movement out of the corner of his eye i can detect a slight hesitation

that oh shit moment

he impresses he continues he's a man he has needs he has responsibilities to copper beauty she has needs can't let a little thing like discovery spoil the moment

vee and cuda and i blaze the blackberry trail only to stumble across a little troupe of six or eight hippies dancing around we say hi they say high with their eyes ah geeze when have i seen eyes like that before pupils dilated they be so tripping i tripped once in these woods but twenty years ago i had holly go lightly my sheepdog with me my buddy mississippi at my side we sat and studied the names on the big rock the names on the big rock in the middle of the redwoods in the middle of the woods the names of those san franciscans killed in dubya dubya one reads like an english irish name dictionary

the names are still there

six eight hippies dancing around bay to breakers madness space dub still bouncing around my head lost weekend lost down around the withlacootchie where did it go she flowed into the gulf of mexico i want to go to the gulf of mexico once more i need to go to the gulf once more i need to float down that black river once more once more i need to float down that river once more

kay pee oh oh floating backwards foggy humidity bay to breakers

peace and all that

Springtime Blues

she caught the katy and left me the mule to ride don't you know i been thinking about home been thinking about back home funny i don't really think about it as home much any more but just over the last couple of days i've been thinking of back home as home maybe it's the change in the weather maybe it's the old man kicking off and i'm only really now letting myself think about it much maybe it's because my cousin was in town my cousin who i haven't seen in maybe eight ten years he looks more like my old man than i do his old man was my old man's older brother don't you know i look more like his old man than he does maybe way back in them olden day them golden days maybe way when them phat brothers found themselves in a little hanky panky

i'm going to hell for thinking my momma might do something like that

man my baby's long great god she's mighty she's tall don't really know what it is just know i been thinking about it maybe a little birdie flew down landed on my shoulder whispered in my ear she said my little birdie my little blue bird she said hey baby don't you ever think about it don't you ever have some of them longings that just tear at your groin that get you feeling all woozy all woozy dizzy geo-displaced kind of homesick

well i love my baby she so fine i wish she'd come see me sometime bout this time of year i think i miss it the most although i do dig the fall ain't nothing like a swamp in the fall not as many mosquitos but bout this time of year it's getting hot but not too hot and the evenings they ain't hot yet things will cool off but something bout being beneath

that big old cypress tree

leaning out over the bend in the river old slow river black river song got that right at least got to love anybody decides to stick doobie in their name don't you know beneath that big old cypress tree spanish moss hanging down all over dripping dripping if you don't believe i love her look what a hole i'm in beneath that big old cypress tree spanish moss how do i paint syrup the air getting to be a little like syrup just lean back let my toes wiggle in the sandy bank gray sandy bank just lean back take a big sip of air relish it know it

can't fight it

i forget that when i've been away a while it's a never ending vicious circle if you don't believe i'm sinking look what a shape i'm in don't you know i move out here where the weather is fucking perfect then i go back home it sucks i return to san francisco settle back in like it's a big old comfortable mattress next time i go swamp-side it sucks even more i return to san francisco settle back sink deeper in to the bed next time in georgia south georgia it sucks worse than before and on and on and on

then there's the redneck factor but that's a whole nother story don't get me started on rednecks i think i been talking a lot bout rednecks lately motherfuckers

when i was sixteen i fell in love with the redneck queen the train pulled out and i swung on behind she was the head fucking cheerleader at good old valdosta high she was beautiful long blonde hair just like they get down there in georgia this was in the farah days as well big fucking hair she had your basic head cheerleader body that shit eatin' smile she drove a big old pick up truck that you had to climb up a fucking ladder to get behind the wheel she had a pouch of redman in her pocket because

she loved a big old wad in her mouth

alas fucking unrequited love

our love existed only late at night my own personal eyelid theater my right hand and my very very vivid imagination

can't fight it

i didn't know it was meditating fucking hippie bullshit didn't know that i could find that zen state just sipping the air so full i can smell the tannic aroma wild unsettling soothing water moving so slow moving slower than life itself every now and then some ugly motherfucking garr surfaces takes a big old mouthful of mosquito larvae i'm crazy bout her that hardheaded woman that hardheaded woman of mine moving slower moving slow oozing through momma earth her juices they sure do flow her juices they sure do go nice with the air

how can water so black taste so clean

sunshine sprinkles serendipity through the curtains of moss twinkles spins bounces off the water turtle glides to the surface pops its lazy head up takes a reading down periscope dive dive disappears into the murky dark from whence it came

couple of grey squirrels doing the scurry thing way back when used to hunt them squirrels shoot them out of the tree in the fall in the autumn now i'm autumn i'm an autumn human being i mean i been through the childhood thing the teenage thing the college thing the twenties thing the thirties thing i'm doing the forties thing very autumn quite autumn

i kind of dig autumn

couple of grey squirrels doing the scrounge thing well my baby she's long my baby she's tall big old cypress dripping spanish moss like old forgotten curtains over at your aunt louise's lake house you know the ones in the back room that used to be a wash porch kind of had a  slant to it my baby she's tall she sleeps with her head in the kitchen and her big feet out in the hall the crows just sit in the branches looking down on me and everything else they disdain crows just fucking hate everything and

they hate with such slow indifference it hurts like pulling off a bandaid

slow slow river don't need to wait for the rain to stop it never started to begin with it just felt like it was raining that's all slow slow river slow it down even more pulling at the sparse weeds tossing them into the slow slow river just to see

how slow it do go

yeah baby how slow do it go do it go how slow

ooze on girl my toe wiggles in the grey dirt it ain't autum but i am how bout dem apples ooze on girl slink on by slide on by my toe still wiggles here i am it ain't august but i am how bout it sugar sugar ooze on girl slide on by

how slow do it go do it go how slow ooze on girl how can water so black taste clean

caught herself the katy and all that

 

Sun Still Climbing

sugar sugar

ain't nothing better than a little morning sugar to start the day can't much go wrong with a little sugar to kickstart the morning kids still asleep hell oldest didn't even come home to well after midnight where ya been down at the beach ain't nothing you can do down at the beach after midnight that don't spell trouble he said yeah goodnight we said okay goodnight i had youthful dreams being eighteen partying out in the woods with my friends they were the world

that's all right

i get to wake up next to stella she doesn't wake up when i get up i get up with the sun my clock ticks differently than stella's i wake up next to stella i can't help myself i already have her in my arms we sleep that way don't you know we've been spooning for near about twenty-five years and i still can't help myself i kiss her on the back of the neck i nibble on her ear i'm ready i reach around cup her breast i'm so ready ah

baby that sugar is whistling to me

stella she tells me i'm crazy ain't no sugar whistling this early in the morning i say oh no

baby that sugar is whistling to me

oh sugar sun still climbing over the jigsaw puzzle of the back yards that make up the inside of our block our basketball court our neighbor's yard to the left really not a yard really just a really large patio with nice asian planters holding small flowering bushes to the other side our kindly old russian neighbor he's been there since the sixties he had come to san francisco from brazil he had moved to brazil from china he had moved to china from the ukraine he's in his eighties he lives by himself he has this long grey ponytail he used to hit on stella he strong like bull he married a gypsy once his family had to come in and pay her off to move out his little backyard the same size as our backyard his little backyard a bramble of neglect blackberry bushes meandering in around the weeds climbing up the fence

slava he brings us blackberries in the summer youngest son he loses his basketballs over there every now and then slava he brings those too

over there across those other lots in the upstairs flat is oldest son's friend and his mom who married an actor a couple of houses down is da cheeseman and da family they used to have a dog that really hated my dog not cuda but my other rotty lydia she died anyway lydia didn't like da cheeseman's dog but that dog died too so i guess it doesn't matter

oh sugar sun still climbing

i'm climbing i'm sneaking i'm snuggling stella sugar come on baby let me make you happy let me make you smile stella sugar smile you can go back to sleep stella sugar sleep just give me a little morning attention just a little bit baby baby please

that sugar is whistling to me

stella succumbs to my charm we wiggle jiggle giggle she goes back to sleep i roll out of bed i'm a happy happy guy i got a little skip in my step ain't nothing better than a little morning sugar smile sugar smile i roll out of bed cuda she jumps up takes my place stella likes to have a big old warm body next to her when she sleeps cuda she loves stella like i do

maybe more

it's saturday i go to church swim with the goddess the water getting warmer fifty-seven today oh sugar sun still climbing sauna warmth up to the church of the roof of the south end rowing club ra he blesses us with his rays as we burn her herb oh sugar sun still climbing we make espresso so strong spoons stand we sip her essence on the balcony overlooking the water the bay alcatraz angel island the golden gate bridge a few heavy clouds

maybe more

little skip in my step sun still shining and all that